Sparkle Like The Stars

…which is funny, because she wasn’t born yet.

Before I talk about her jewelry - and oh, we will talk about her jewelry - I want to talk about her father. If you had told me, when I was in elementary school and “Achy Breaky Heart” was on the radio (every hour of every broadcast of every station of every day) that someday I would think to myself, “You know, Billy Ray Cyrus is kind of a bad father,” I wouldn’t have believed you - and being nine years old, might have kicked you in the shins. Seriously, though. Does her father have a brain in his head? She’s what, sixteen? And she’s constantly on the road / filming / shooting whatever? And her birth name was something like Destiny Geranium or something? I was skeptical of how she was being raised even before the Annie Leibowitz photography flap.

And then I got terrible, terrible confirmation that she was being raised terribly. She showed up somewhere wearing - what else, now? - a pink plastic heart necklace. I don’t have the words. Pink… plastic… heart… pendant. I don’t want to seem judgmental, but that is TACKY. Any parent should have seen this in her room and burned it. If she wants a heart, she should wear real jewelry, like this two-tone gold and diamond heart pendant. It’s playful and youthful without being plastic. And at only $95, her father could pick it up for what he makes on 20 seconds of replay of that friggin’ “Achy Breaky.”