Sparkle Like The Stars

And the only prescription is less Rachael Ray. She is everywhere. She is on TV, in magazines, on food packaging and in my dreams. I cannot leave the house without seeing her smiling at me, grinning at me, peeping coyly at me, confiding in me, conspiring with me, looking at me. I don’t dislike her, she’s just everywhere. She is on bottles of olive oil. I cannot make spaghetti without her being involved. She has about eight television shows, including “Rachael Ray reads Faulkner aloud.” If Big Brother were little and cute and from Puerto Rico and had a lot of handy kitchen tips, this would be “1984.” Which I could adjust to, I guess, if she didn’t wear necklaces like the one she has one here. U, g, l, y, it ain’t got no alibi. I think I see what she meant to do, but she missed. I would describe this necklace as “a chain with some things.” It clashes with her gold lame jacket (which she apparently stole from Grace Jones back the year I was born.)

Rachael could have gotten the same effect with this necklace. It’s a pearl necklace without being a Donna Reed single-strand thing, and the hanging drop pendant would work with Rachael’s neckline and accent her outfit without the Random Chain Action she has here. The gold and the pink pendant pearl add color without making it hard to match, and at only $65, she could pay it off with the sale of one toaster with her face on it.