BAD LINDSAY. BAD, BAD LINDSAY.
Posted by Joe Roy @ 9:19 pm 7 05 2008
I think I’ve started a post this way before, but:
OHMYGOD OHMYGOD OHMYGOD OHMYGOD OHMYGOD OHMYGOD OHMYGOD OHMYGOD.
LINDSAY LOHAN (might have allegedly rumor has it) STOLE A FUR COAT
According to the New York Post (I know, I know, but still) the lovely Miss Lohan attended a party this January… and waltzed off with a fur belonging to a Columbia undergrad! (I literally cannot imagine having had a fur coat in college. Or actually finishing college. Anyway.) The Post has pictures of Lohan coming in in a tasteful black coat… and emerging in a lovely fur. With the stolen coat and the cocaine pants, she’s a terrorism blouse, smuggling hairdo, and a pair of murderboots away from a full felony ensemble.
And it’s not like she doesn’t own nice things. Look at her necklace! Granted, this is from her redhead, sober, pre-career-Hindenburg days, but it’s still a beaut, and probably hers! It’s a sparkly fun look that’s understated enough to pair with more accessories, but enough to sport on its own. Go for the same look with this silver and cubic zirconia necklace - not only is it a beautiful evening piece, but at $95, it’s an absolute steal! (I kill me.)
Categories : Diamonds, Earrings, hollywood jewels
In keeping with the whole “let’s pretend they’re two different people” schtick, here’s a picture of noted teen rockstar Hannah Montana, not be confused with noted “isn’t she kind of young to photographed nude in a bedsheet” model and Achy Breaky Heiress, Miley Cyrus. She looks super-cute here. Her dress, provided it’s long enough, which I can’t really tell from the picture and could go either way, is tremendously flattering while still being age-appropriate. It’s also a wonderful color for her complexion, which looks active and tanned without seeming fakebaked. I’m not crazy about her chunky highlights, but that’s a choice and they don’t look bad, just not to my taste. I’m on the fence about whether she has on too much jewelry. There’s no one piece I would object to, but earrings and cocktail ring and bangles could be just too much. I’d probably need to have a better look at her earrings to be sure.

…which is funny, because she wasn’t born yet.
I had kind of a problem with Cynthia Nixon’s look on Sex and the City. Cynthia Nixon (C.Nix? No, I’m not feeling it) is beautiful and glamorous, but I never felt like she got to show herself off as much as she deserved, although, granted, it’s hard to shine when Sarah Jessica Parker is pulling focus by wearing a pink bikini under a mink coat that has been belted with a python. that said, she might be the best comedic actress of the group. I remember situations of all the characters, but I’m more likely to remember Miranda’s actual lines - and their razor-sharp delivery.
Okay, yeah. I’m just going to go through the Sex and the City ladies this week. I don’t have a lot to say about Kristin Davis, really, except that she is absolutely lovely. She’s unquestionably beautiful, but in her own way. She’s Kristin Davis pretty, not starlet pretty. It’s probably wholly due to her character on the show, but I have this strange idea that she is just absolutely sweet. It’s probably just her appearance - doesn’t she look like a nun who would become entangled with an Austrian army general and raise his kids and convince him not to marry the Baroness and… anyway. I’ve never seen The Sound of Music.
I may just run through all the Sex and the City ladies this week. Of the actresses on that show, Kim Cattrall is the one I’d most like to just hang out with. She’s older than the usual sex symbol, and she doesn’t come close to caring, and she pulls it off. She knows she’s sexy, and she’s sexy because she knows it. (And probably because she’s had work done, but hey! It was good work.) She manages to take a cliched sitcom character - “slut” - and turn in a realistic, nuanced performance without sacrificing laughs.
Kate Hudson and son Ryder, 4, had fun recently in Miami during an eventful Saturday out and about. - including a bike ride around town. Kate is prepped for the summer weather. She’s looking great and wearing a fabulous chunky turquoise bracelet. 
Word has it that Amy Poehler and Will Arnett are having a baby. People magazine reports: 
“Hello, this is Oprah. I’m not available right now but, please leave a message and I’ll get back to you as soon as I have a space in my busy schedule of running a titanic media empire and performing numerous charitable works permits.”
I have mixed feelings about Sarah Jessica Parker. One the one hand, she’s sassy, and Sex and the City did have its moments. On the other hand, Sex and the City had moments, rather than episodes or seasons, and she dresses like she comes from a planet that doesn’t have clothes and she’s not over the novelty. Do you ever play the Sarah Jessica Parker game, in which you come up with the most outlandish outfit you can imagine, and then go through her old publicity stills to see how close you were? Try it: a mink pillbox hat, pink naugahyde blouse, tutu, electric blue leggings with kind of a watermark pattern, and wooden Dutch clogs? (Hint: First Wives’ Club.) Anyway, I saw the poster for the Sex and the City movie today, and… no. No, ma’am. I’m going to ignore the terrible, terrible design of the poster - with difficulty, and only because this is a celebrity blog, not a media design blog - so I can concentrate on its larger flaw.


It’s sad news for Martha Stewart fans and animal lovers. Martha’s beloved dog Paw Paw passed away due to renal failure. I am sure Martha is a wreck on the inside. The Ice Queen is probably out schelping some cooking crap but crying on the inside…or wondering if Paw Paw’s death will impact her stock price. I wonder if it does if she’ll get arrested for insider trading again because she knew Paw Paw had kidneys. I am not making light of death or animals. I was a mess for weeks when my mom’s cat died this summer. It was awful. So don’t leave me mean comments, k!

Paris Hilton is ready for warmer weather in her flowing green and brown skirt. I am not being sarcastic - I actually really like what Paris is wearing. However there’s something about her heavy makeup that makes her always look over-done and therefore trashy. Sorry, Paris. Kiss! Kiss!


Some things were made to go together. Sonny and Cher. Peanut butter and chocolate. Summer and ice cream. Diamonds and hoops. Two of my most favoritest things are paired up in these 
If you’re going to wear basic black, you’ve gotta do it right - just like Jennifer Garner. She hit the red carpet recently dripping in 1920s diamonds and wearing a beautifully detailed Oscar de la Renta gown. The big braclests are a little much (I can’t believe I am saying that!) but what the heck?! It’s Hollywood, baby!






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